Chapter 19
Katerina:
“Katerina, you need to eat something. You are going to end up getting sick.” Nikolay said, looking at me. I looked down at my lap, not wanting to bother with the food, but I knew that the man was right.
I took the sandwich in my hands, taking a few bites from it before setting it back down on the plate.
I still didn’t understand why he was treating me as nicely as he was, but it has been a week since the two of us have moved out of the house to the hotel as we prepared for our move to the new villa, and he has been playing the role of the concerned husband since.
“You are barely eating half a sandwich almost every day.” He commented.
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“It keeps me alive, and that is what you all need anyway.” I said, getting up from the couch. I was still angry, but this time, I wasn’t angry with him, I was more angry with myself.
I walked out to the veranda, fighting back my tears as I looked out at the city’s view. It turned out that the big window also had a door with a veranda where we could have a nice meal in. And though anyone else would have found it very beautiful, I personally saw it as my escapee.
Being in the state that I was in, Nikolay wouldn’t let me out of the house, and it was mostly because he was worried about me getting hurt or me seeing his mum who he knew might end up hurting me.
The fear that consumed me was also something that I couldn’t describe. The idea of someone wanting to harm me the way that she did scared me, and the fact that I knew that she could easily do that was something that I couldn’t deny. The woman didn’t hesitate to slap me, and that only meant that she could do worse if she had the chance to do so, and until things have calmed down, Nikolay didn’t want to risk anything.
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Chapter 19
He knocked on the door behind me, taking me by surprise, and shaking my head in question, I didn’t bother turning around to face him to find out what he was on about. I didn’t really care anyway.
“Katerina, I know that I have hurt you, and that we all have, but what you are doing to yourself is not good for your health. You are just going to end up hurting yourself and that is not something that I want for you.” He said, and I smiled, shaking my head at him.
“You don’t care about me, my existence, or whether or not I am hurt. I understand that you are afraid that something might end up happening to me, and that is something that you don’t want to deal with. I am also aware that you don’t want your reputation ruined by the fact that your wife could very much end up hurting herself. But please there is no need to worry about such matters as the last thing that I aim to do is hurt or ruin your reputation.” I said, shaking my head at him. “I really don’t care what you think or do, the one thing I do want is my peace, and I believe that you can give it to me considering that I am doing everything in my power to give you yours.”
“Katerina, I was just as forced into this as you are. I don’t understand why you’re making it an issue that I wanted to choose being with someone else.” He said and I shook my head at him, taking a deep breath as I tried. to calm myself down.
“Nikolay, you can choose a thousand different women to be with, and it would be the last thing that I care about. You as my husband do not matter to me, and I believe that as your wife, I should not matter to you. Why? Because in your opinion, you are stuck on the fact that this was an arranged marriage. Yes, it was, and it still is, but that never meant that we could have gone on with it without the damage. However, it seems like I am the only one who got hurt in the end.” I said, shaking my head at him.
“I didn’t want for this to happen, and I still don’t.”
“And yet, it did, and I don’t think that there is anything that would change
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- it. Therefore, please don’t give me the lover’s act who is doing his best to satisfy his wife, because you aren’t fooling anyone, or even if you were, you are not fooling me. I have lived through more pain with you than I have lived with my family, and they were not the kindest of people to me when it came to such situations. I chose to honor you and you insulted me, my pride, and my dignity. The worst part is, I didn’t do anything to respond about it, if anything, I chose to give you your space and even wanted to help you with it. But again, no, I found myself being hurt, as usual, by the person who I tried to protect.” I said, looking him in the eye. He frowned in confusion before shaking his head in question. His next words taking me off guard as they left me a sort of debate.
“What’s in it for you? You know, whether or not I am happy, protected, or not, what is in it for you?” He asked, and I shook my head at him, choosing to stay quiet for a few seconds before being able to actually respond.
“My peace of mind, have you ever heard of that?”
“What?” He asked, frowning in confusion. I gave him a cold smile, one void of emotion, before patting his chest twice. Nikolay looked down at my hand, frowning in confusion as he tried processing what I just said.
The arrogance of the man was obvious, but I knew that it was also due to him being a spoiled as he was.
For a man who claimed to be in love, the man chose to fight for money instead of his love. His mother, logically, wouldn’t have left him to rot on the streets. However, her question was to see whether or not his love was pure enough for him to go with nothing but his name, and even if HE was pure, I wasn’t stupid as not to realize that Anastasia was also with him for his money.
The woman’s reputation wasn’t all that pleasing, and though I still didn’t approve of his mum’s ways, I understood her reasons behind not wanting him to be with a woman who was initially stealing from her husband before filing for a divorce, claiming that she was abused.
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The funny part was, the woman chose to be with Nikolay during their marriage, and not even when they planned on getting divorced, no, it was done long before they even filed for one. The woman was benefitting from both Nikolay and whatever he was offering her, and her husband, regardless of whatever the issues were between them.
When the man actually found out about the scandal, well, that was when all hell broke loose, and that is something that no media, family members, or even the man himself before the divorce could easily drop. It was something that he couldn’t be forced to do, logically, and despite all the pain that he must have been through, I still couldn’t believe that he chose to stay quiet about it.
“I chose my pace of mind instead of fighting you, Nikolay.” I said, looking at him. “You might not understand that due to the number of people that actually used to fight and argue with you, but I chose to not want to be one of those people. However, it seems like I ended up being a victim to your selfishness because of it.”
“Katerina…”
“I will be in my bedroom if you need anything from me.”
