Chapter 59
Nikolay:
I
My heart raced against my ribcage as I looked at my wife who stood in front of the waiting room.
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Her hands shook as she crossed them over her chest. And her walking around told me that she was in more pain than she could ever describe. Her nervousness was given out in her body language, and though she didn’t say anything about it, I knew that she was hurting inside, bleeding
even.
I couldn’t blame her. She just saw a woman’s water break. The woman was the woman who had threatened her with her husband, and that was not something that she wanted to see in a day like this one.
“Are you OK?” I asked, slowly walking up to her. Katerina looked up on me, her cheeks reddening as she processed the fact that I was watching her. I wasn’t speaking to her as to give her the space that she needed, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t well aware that she was nowhere near being okay. I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly, knowing that she needed it. She may have not shown it, but I knew my wife well enough to know that she needed help. She needed me as her husband by her side. and that was something that I was going to prove to her that I would be worth. I was going to stand by her side, her back and support until the end of time.
“I’m sorry it happened that way, you know, that the two of us had to leave the way that we did because I couldn’t control my anger toward the woman. She wasn’t nice, and I didn’t like it, but I know that it didn’t require me to snap the way that I did, and for that, I am sorry.” She said, making me frown in confusion. I pulled away to look her in the eye, cupping her cheeks to make her look me. The pain that I saw in her eyes was one that I did not like, especially considering the fact that she was blaming herself for something that she did not do. It was not her fault that Anastasia was going to give birth. And should have anything happen to her. It wasn’t have going to be her fault either. The woman did not go
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ahead attacking her and said she was simply responding to questions that she had asked. Anesthesia chose her path and Katerina chose hers. Katerina chose me, while Anastasia chose another man wanting to lie to me and fake a pregnancy that was his. Just recalling that made my chest. ache, therefore she knew for a fact that I would never accept her again. Just the fact that I might have fallen for that played in my head more than once, and the idea of having to break up with a woman who I knew would have cherished me and was innocent of all of this. Was something that broke me.
“You being protective over your home and your husband is not a crime or a sin for you to apologize for. I understand the pain that you are in and I understand the consequences that have come due to my actions, but I do not want you blaming yourself for them.” I said, wiping my beautiful wife’s tears as they fell from her eyes. She leaned into my touch before I leaned in to kiss her. My kiss was gentle and loving, one that I knew that would capture her heart. I came to learn quickly that she loved to be kissed and loved to be cherished, mean because she didn’t see a lot of affection in her life, something like me. I was in the type to have seen affection with my life between my parents. They do not act as affectionate towards one another. If anything, I don’t even remember seeing them being loving towards each other and thus all of that implanted on me. Neither one of them chose to love me, and by time I didn’t even know what love was. At least not until I saw Anastasia. Maybe that was why I fell in love with her. The pain that I felt was just gone with her. It was something that I could ignore. The feelings that I got with her were pure, and though I didn’t know whether or not hers were, I knew that I got distracted from all the pain that I was feeling at home, and that was something that was more than important for me.
“The two of us are also going to have her own child, Malyshka. By the time that you, all of us, are going to have a big family, one that we cannot. even fit inside the House, we would need to have a new House and a huge dining table to fit us all.” I said, wanting her to believe in something that I believed in. whatever the doctors told her, I didn’t care about it. I trusted, deep down, that our family was going to be a big one, and it was going to be something that we both cherished and loved deeply.
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Katerina froze, trying to process what I just said. However, I just looked her in the eye. Making her know that I trusted that we would have a child. It was something that you wanted, and I knew that I would fight my life to get it for her one way or the other. Whether she needed treatment, medication or therapy, I was going to be here with her through it all.
“Nikolay, I know that you want us to have a baby, and I do too…”
“No, I want you to have a baby. Whatever has happened to you happened because the two of us had too many competitions and too many conflicts. You were trying to satisfy me and I was trying to resent you. It was like two of us were walking in different lines and we did not cross. Not at all. Therefore, I will do my best for you to have a child and I will do my best for the two of us to build the family that we want to have.” I said, running my finger over her cheek, stopping her from saying whatever it was she wanted to tell me. She put her hand on my wrist and put my hand down, keeping her eyes on me as she focused on my expression, trying to read any lies or any hesitation. But I had not. I wanted to build my family with her. I knew that she was my home, my pride and my beauty. It was.
something that I was sure of since the day that you always got married. I just couldn’t see it until today.
“What if we can have a child normally? I don’t know what I possibilities of me giving birth to begin with my uterus..
“You are uterus might be weak now.” I said, stopping her again. The last thing that I wanted was for her to feel as insecure as she did, and knowing that she was hurting inside, no matter the smile, I knew to be by her side through it. Supporting her was going to take me to more places than fighting or arguing with her ever will. That was something that my dad did to mom. Eventually, she chose to drop him completely, and whether or not he wants to think of trying anything, we all knew that it was a bit too late for that. If anything, I was often surprised that mom never filed for a divorce. But it could have also been due to a few things that they needed. to maintain at the time. The number of events that they attended were countless, and that was something that I always kept in mind. I also knew, however, that my beauty needed to heal as she was injured and her
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injuries were more than just normal shallow ones. I was yet to make her father pay for this, and despite my wife telling me otherwise, I knew to keep in mind that he would get hurt But I know that it will heal. The two of us have been stronger through so much, and you, my beautiful warrior, are the strongest of all women that I have met. You stood in front of the woman that you knew cheated on you with your husband, and you knew that I had slept in her arms. And yet that didn’t stop you from greeting her in your home. I know that another woman would have done that. Therefore I respect you more and more for it.
“Nikolay that does not count…”
She said shaking her head at me. I took her hand in mine, running my finger over her fingers, massaging them gently, assuring her, letting her know that I was there. I knew that it was her anxiety and her confusion speaking, but what she did not understand was that I knew for a fact that she was lot stronger than even I was.
“You know, Katerina. I envy your kindness. I know that it is one that I would have never had. Not toward Anastasia and not toward me. The two of us have been through a lot. And the two of us have gone through more. than anyone should have. You have been patient with me as a wife, and that is something that I would never be able to repay you for. Therefore, I know that my words might not make a difference right now, but you, my wife, are the one thing that I’m proud of. Marrying you has literally been the best thing that has ever happened to me.” I said, choosing to be honest. She didn’t even know how much I respected her for what she did.
Katerina stayed quiet, studying my expression for a few seconds before she smiled. She ran her finger over my hand before pulling me into kiss me. However. I called her cheeks and kissed her instead, before taking her hand and kissing both her knuckles, letting my lips linger there for a few seconds as I looked at her.
“You are my blessing and my saviors, Nikolay Ivanov. No matter how much I’m going to say it, I’m not going to be able to do you just. Yes, I am well aware that you will tell me that I am the one who has saved you, or that you will tell me that I don’t deserve that. But you deserve more than
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just my kind words. You deserve my life for saving me the way that you did. You don’t know the hell that I have been through, and yet you have seen a glimpse of it and chose to accept me the way I was, something that nobody has ever seen or accepted me for.” She said, making my heart skip a beat. I never knew that small woman could have this much effect on me as a man. But I knew for a fact that I was more than willing to be patient. for her, and that it was more than willing to fight her wars. It was something that I made as a promise for myself. I was going to fight every single battle for her, just to ensure to see that beautiful smile on her face, and I was going to make sure that anyone who fought or thought that they could break her would suffer the consequences of it.
I looked at her, studying her expression for a few seconds. Running my finger over her ears, watching as she smiled, her smile making my heart race. The safety and the peace that I felt with her was one that I could never describe. The contentment, her beautiful smile, the way she made the house feel like home, no matter what we had or what we didn’t, her presence was always enough for me, and that was something that I did not. intend on changing. She deserved more than just the best. She was, my life, my pride and my beauty. She was my blessing.
I stayed quiet as I watched her beautiful dimple form as she smiled, her smile reaching her eyes for the first time in months. Though I knew that she was feeling a lot better lately, I knew that there was still a few huge gap between the two of us, and that was something that I tried to mend in here. Though I knew that it would take more time than I anticipated, I was always patient with her for it. I had cars most of it, and I wasn’t stupid to think that it would heal in a day or two. But I was more than willing to wait for her to hear for wait for me.
However, seeing her today, the way I touched her and the way she gave into my touch, that was something that I did not want to replace for the world. It was love, and it was a kindness that she had that made my heart swell. Her eyes meeting mine were enough. The way she held my hand, the way she trusted me, everything played back in my head as if it was my first time and not only hers.
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I saw her love in her eyes today, and it wasn’t only sexual, it was intimate. It was us. Being a husband and wife for the first time in forever, I felt like two pieces of puzzles fit together. I fit perfectly with my wife and that was not something that I wanted to change. However, letting her know was going to take me long. More time than I thought. But at first part was going to be done today. Most of it was done anyway. She knew that I wanted to be her husband. I proved her with my actions this morning, and though 1 wasn’t even sure that I was going to do it today, I was thankful that I did.
This, my timing may have been wrong this morning, that you always had guests later, but I was more than thankful that it happened. At least she was more confident as she stood in front of these guests, as she stood in front of the woman who she felt threatened around. Knowing that her husband was hers and hers alone. I didn’t want to share me with anyone, just as much as I didn’t want to share her with anyone else. It was the jealousy and the protectiveness that I got that told me and reminded me that she was my beauty and that she was someone that I was going to carry until the end of time. However, I needed to also prove it to her that did not just come with the words, that came with actions. But the three words. that escaped my lips before I could stop and told me that the feelings that I fell for it more than true.
These feelings were infinite, intimate, and pure. They requested nothing in return, and I knew that hers were true. My beauty requested nothing in return for her beautiful feelings. Not even when she knew that her in chair. My own feelings back. It was something that I regretted. But I knew for a fact, right now, as more than ready to move on with her. She had entered my heart and settled in it, making me forget every single other person that has ever been in my life. I couldn’t even imagine myself without her, and that was something that surprised me. Especially since I had numbers of memories of being alone and the countless of nice of arguing with my parents over a woman that would not want me or simply wanted me for the money. All these memories played in my head as I would just watched the woman who sat in front of me, studying my expression, knowing that she might have upset me and wanted to make it better. I just hated the idea that I chose to find my parents over woman
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who was not worth it, while I let go of a woman who was more than willing to satisfy me simply because she wanted to satisfy me.
“I love you, Katerina.”
