Chapter 22
Nikolay:
My heart raced as I fought the rage that formed in my chest and mind.
The fact that she came here to actually threaten me played in my head, and the fact that she was suddenly against everything that SHE stood up for annoyed me more than ever.
Katerina walked into the bedroom, carrying a mug of coffee, handing it to
- me.
The maids came back a while ago to tend to the house’s needs, and I have been here in the bedroom since they left.
“What you’re doing won’t do you any good, Nikolay. You are just draining yourself over something stupid.” She said, sitting on the edge of the bed beside me.
“I hate the fact that she is actually treating me like a child, choosing to come and threaten me at MY place, and…”
“Nikolay…” she said, stopping me. She turned around to face me, and I was surprised when she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. “I understand your anger right now, and I understand that you are annoyed by her behavior. But she is trying to use an upper hand on you and you are literally giving it to her.”
“I know, and she tends to take that to her advantage, and that is something that I don’t like. I just don’t know how to deal with that bullshit. I don’t…”
“You don’t deal with it, Nikolay. The woman is your mother, and we are to respect that. She might not end up respecting the fact that we are leaving. the house, but that doesn’t change the fact that we did. As for her threatening to take away what she gave you, I am not stupid as not to know that you don’t have your private things that are not run by her. You are not
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Chapter 22
a child, and I do not think that you need to act like one.” Katerina said, looking me in the eye. I sighed, taking a deep breath as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her in for a hug.
“You don’t know how much I needed to hear those words.” I whispered, feeling more grateful than ever at her presence. The thing was, she didn’t even know how much I actually needed her, hell, even I didn’t know it. The way she looked at me, spoke to me, how calm she was. She was just too different from Anastasia, and though I hated comparing both women, but I couldn’t help but regret the fact that I wasted a lot with Anastasia, fighting to simply please her when Katerina seemed to be pleased and impressed by literally almost everything that I did. As long as it made her smile, and as long as the two of us were not fighting over cheating, she really did have a heart of gold that I was stupid to waste.
“I am sorry, Katerina.” I said, stopping her. She frowned in confusion, and turning to look at me, she shook her head in question, trying to understand what I meant. But I didn’t even know how to start with
explaining what I wanted to say. The woman has taken too much for me, and I didn’t even deserve that she did what she has for me.
“What?”
“Everything that you are dealing with for me. The anger, the pain, the cheating, I am sorry for all that.” I said, choosing to be direct with my words. Her eyes softened, and she smiled, extending her hand to me. I lay my head on her chest as she ran her fingers through my hair, making my chest ache. This was something that I knew I couldn’t do with even Anastasia, and I don’t even remember the last time I was truly hugged by my mother without the need to do something in return. If anything, I don’t even know when she looked at me with gentle eyes without making me feel like I was complete garbage. With Anastasia, though I could never doubt her love for me, I often knew that it didn’t come for free, if anything, I knew that she was getting things as if I was ‘paying‘ her for what she was giving while I was initially doing them because I truly did
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love her. The fact that I was even comparing to begin with made me doubt. MY own love for her. Did she love me back? Was it all a game to get what she wanted? All these questions played in my head, and the more I thought of them, the worse I felt.
“Nikolay, the two of us already talked about this…”
“No, we haven’t, at least not the way that I would want us to.” I said, making her frown in confusion. “I have hurt you, and yet, you chose to stand by my side. Not only that, but you also didn’t judge me after what you just saw happening. You proved to me that I wasn’t alone and…”
“Nikolay. I am your wife, I am not going to judge you because you’re going through a rough time. We all go through them, but that is literally how life is, we can’t change that. We just live around with it until we have somehow managed to pass it. I know that it is difficult to believe, but we all go through such times, and some can go through harder even, but as a husband and wife, we swore to stand together, through thick and thin. What type of wife would I be if I choose to just drop you out of the first complication that we go through?” She asked, making my chest ache.
“Can I tell you something, but I don’t want you getting upset with me?” I asked, making her frown in confusion. Katerina nodded, waiting for my response and I sighed, taking both her hands in mine, gently running my finger over hers. “I hate comparing, but I can’t help but regret the fact that I hurt you a lot when you are doing everything in your power to literally satisfy me. I understand that I may not deserve it sometimes, and I know for fact that I have hurt you more times than should be accepted or forgiven, but I will forever be thankful for your gentle heart.”
“Why would I be upset with what you just said?” She asked, frowning in confusion.
“Because the comparison that I made was one that I had no right to do. I know that you might tell me that it is normal and maybe it is, but I still have no right to compare you with another person simply because each
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Chapter 22
one has their own personality.” I said, and she smiled.
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“I can’t blame you for comparing me to the love of your life. It might hurt. me to think of, but I can and will never blame you for it. That is one thing that you need to know about me.” She said, making my heart skip a beat. I leaned in before I could stop myself, connecting my lips with hers. However, it wasn’t long before I pulled away, knowing not to cross a certain limit as to ensure that I didn’t end up ruining something that I was still fighting to build.
“I don’t know what I did good to deserve a woman like you.” I said, looking her in the eye. Her cheeks reddened, and I couldn’t help but smile at that. “But I will forever be grateful for the beauty of your gorgeous heart.”
Katerina’s eyes softened, and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips when SHE leaned in to kiss me. Her kiss was soft and gentle, hesitant a bit, letting m know that she wasn’t experienced in this, something that she didn’t even know how much I valued.
To know that my woman, my wife, and beauty was a woman who was untouched, pure, and clean was something that I cherished a lot, and regardless of her reasons, I knew to respect them.
We pulled away to look one another in the eye, and I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my lips as she took a deep breath, blushing at the fact that it was HER who started the kiss instead of me this time.
“I don’t know how I will show you your value to me, Katerina, but I will be sure to do so if it is he LAST thing that I ever do…”
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