Chapter 29
Katerina:
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Never in my life did I think that I would be dealing with such humiliation.
My heart throbbed as I showered, letting the water cascade around my body as tears fell from my eyes.
This was the third shower I was taking for the day, and I was yet to feel completely clean as I remembered how he rejected me.
The man literally saw me naked under him, and rather than take me, he rejected me.
His mum was right. I really wasn’t doing my duties as his wife.
I couldn’t join them at dinner, excusing myself of being sick. I was, but not in a medical way, at least, not in the way that they think that I am. It was more emotional, more painful, and even more humiliating. And the worst. part about it was that the man didn’t even know that I was feeling this much pain because of him. Or even if he did, he didn’t really give a damn.
I walked out of the shower, drying my body before putting on a pants and. shirt. I was going to bed anyway, and the last thing that I needed was to see or speak to anyone. The fact that I was going to have to go down for breakfast was something that I dreaded. But I also knew that I couldn’t keep myself locked up forever.
I brushed my hair as I sniffed, and I couldn’t help the frown that formed. on my face when I saw that my phone was ringing, and more specifically, it was my mother who was calling me.
This was her first call since the second day of our marriage, and taking a deep breath, I answered the phone. “Hello, mother.”
“You remembered that you have a mother.” She said, her tone sarcastic.
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“I did call you, tens of times, but I believe that you are well aware that neither you or father have answered me. Eventually, you knew that I would be stopping. The last thing that I would do as a person was bombard your phone with tens of calls when I knew that you were not going to answer me.” I said, choosing to stay calm, forcing myself to suck in my pain. “I do hope that you are well.”
“You have been married a month, and I believe that it is more than enough for you to grow pregnant.” She said, making me frown in confusion. “So, have you stabilized yourself as his wife or are you still playing the little bride’s game?”
“Mother, I have been married a month, and the entire month, neither one. of you bothers to call me. When you do, you ask me such a question?” I asked, choosing my words carefully. “No, I am not pregnant, and I do not intend to be anytime soon…”
“You will listen, and I will be sure that you have that drilled in your head before I make sure to drill it myself.” She said, stopping me. Her tone harsher than I could ever remember it to be. I couldn’t help but find myself wanting to shy back as I heard dad’s voice in the background, and though I couldn’t see the man, I could already imagine his expression. And it was one that I knew that I did not want to see. The man was known for his abuse toward me, at least, within the house’s walls. Thankfully, around people, I was saved from that kind of humiliation. It was the one thing that I was blessed with to say the least. The rest was just ongoing luxury which everyone saw as too much for me, claiming that I got it too easy, which wasn’t the case. If anything, I worked harder than most of the family members have, and it was to always prove a point that I was not the failure that they claimed that I was.
“Mother, you cannot force me to give the man a child when I barely know him. I understand…”
“You will give the man a child, and more than one. I do not care if you
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have to rip your heart out to do it, you are going to carry his child, give birth to the child, and raise the child. I do not want to hear the stupid complaints that you came to learn over the years. It makes no sense for you to think that you even have the right to decide that…”
“It is my body, and I will be the one carrying and raising the child. How is it not my right to decide?” I asked, stopping her..
“One more word and I will come to that house of yours that you believe. would protect you so much and will be sure that I break the sense of ‘pride‘ that you seem to be having. If you think that you can stand behind your husband to protect you, then I believe that you are well aware of the fact that the man is cheating on you with a different woman. I don’t think that any of us is stupid to think that the picture is an old one, but considering the fact that you two chose to be smart about it, we let it go. Otherwise, your ‘husband‘ would have seen you at court, and I think that it is the last thing that you want to do right now.” Mom said, her tone more aggressive than it ever was.
My heart raced against my ribcage, and just as I was about to answer, I was surprised when I heard dad’s voice on the other line. His tone harsher than it ever was to me, making my heart ache as I felt it clenching.
“I will give you my warning, Katerina, and though I don’t think that your need to be warned. A fair reminder is always in order sometimes when putting sluts like yourself in place.” He said, making my chest ache. Just the fact that he, my father, the man who was to protect me from. everything was calling me that made my heart break, reminding me of the past that I couldn’t escape. It was one that I knew would haunt me until the end of time.
The thing was, having seen how this family was today, I grew more scared for my child who wouldn’t have stable parents to be able to raise them. On one side, I never grew in a stable environment where I was genuinely loved by my parents. If anything, I knew that both of them wanted
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nothing more than to take advantage of what they thought or believed that I could offer. I didn’t even know whether or not I would be able to love or accept them as a mother should.
“If you don’t stop acting like a child, I will be sure that you grow back to the woman that you are. Don’t think for a second that you being married has saved you. It hasn’t. and if need brings be, I will be coming to you, and 1 will be ripping your vocal cords to simply teach you what it was to cross your limits with your mother and father. I will feed them to you to keep the lesson drilled in your head, and when you are done, I will have you going back to your husband, a voiceless wife who would give him the children that she owed him.” He said, knowing that I would comply. The thing was, I wasn’t going to comply because I simply wanted to, if that were the case, so much would have been solved as I grew older. The man knew that he would hurt me, and he was very well aware that I knew that he wouldn’t hesitate for a second to do so. It was one of the disadvantages of being who I was with a man like him, and regardless of whatever I did. It didn’t matter to him. As long as HE said a word, I as his daughter, was forced to submit.
He hung the phone without bothering to wait for my answer, not that I was going to give it anyway. The man new for fact that I wasn’t going to respond, and he wasn’t waiting for a response to begin with. If anything, I would have considered it as a challenge if I answered or talked back. I learned that the hard way as I grew older and even swore to myself to never repeat it again when I ended up with four broken ribs.
I put my phone aside and shook my head as I ran my fingers through my hair for a second before putting my hands down as I looked at the wedding ring that was on my finger.
To other women, this ring was the happiest of rings. It gave them beautiful memories whenever they looked at them. But to me. This ring was the signature of my death certificate. My father, the man who was supposed to support me in this world, and my mother, a woman like myself who was
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supposed to fight to protect her daughter, ensuring that she was not harmed or abused, both let me go, wanting me to deal with their mess on my own. And no matter how hard I tried to accept it, I literally knew that I couldn’t. They couldn’t really expect me to accept something as cruel, right? No matters would in general, right?
Wrong…
I hated admitting it.
But my parents would throw me in HELL for them to live their lives, and
it was only a matter of time before that was proven…
