Chapter 37
Katerina:
16:58
1 frowned when I opened my eyes to find that Nikolay was sleeping beside
MIC.
He was sitting on the chair by my bed with his head laying on my bed while he held my hand in his.
My heart ached at the sight, and though I wanted to remove my hand, I couldn’t find myself doing so. I couldn’t bring myself to do so if I were being completely honest.
I put my left hand, which was my free hand, on my stomach,
remembering what the nurses told me before removing it. It was my fate anyway, and I knew that despite not wanting it to be that, it was what was to happen to me. I wasn’t even fit to be a mother, and dad simply gave that
10 me.
I sniffed, trying to stifle the cry that almost escaped my mouth, and that was all it took for Nikolay to wake up, looking at me as if I was some sort of ghost.
My heart raced at that, and I looked down at my feet, avoiding his eyes as I feared his reaction and what he would say to me. I didn’t even know what he would think of me after the abuse that he saw me going through. My face, which was bandaged, ached as scabs and cuts felt like my skin kept getting torn with each move, and though I wanted to hide the feeling that I was having, I knew that I couldn’t.
“How are you feeling?” He asked, and I closed my eyes. I knew that he got his response as I did that. His eyes avoided mine, and I shook my head, not really knowing how I was to answer him. One part of me wanted to do nothing but strangle him. And another told me that what I have been through was not his fault this time. If anything, the man stood up for me.
“I am tired.” I said, looking down at my hand, not knowing what else to say or do. I didn’t even know how to express myself at this point, but I knew
Chapter 37
BBB
16:56
that I was more than just a little exhausted at the moment, and that wasn’t the worst part of it. The fact that I have been dealing through so much in such a short period of time had a bad impact on me, and now, this was me getting the result of it. Though how I was going to handle it now, I didn’t know. I just knew that I didn’t like how I was feeling at all.
“Do you want to eat or drink something? I know that you’re still very tired, but…”
“I don’t want anything, Nikolay.” I said, stopping him. “And you really don’t have to pretend that you care about me. Yes, I understand that you stood up for me, and I will do my best to somehow repay you for this, but…”
“You are my wife, and if I don’t stand up for you against those who intend to hurt you…”
“Nikolay, the two of us know for fact that there is a huge gap between the two of us, and it won’t be solved by you simply stating that the two of us are married. Therefore, I am begging you to please not try that excuse on me.” I said, stopping him. “I understood…”
“You didn’t understand anything, and that is what is leading you to more of these messes.” He said, stopping me. “Look, I know that you are hurt right now, you are scared, in pain, and broken inside. But what you are doing is ONLY going to lead you to hurting yourself and that is not something that I want for you. Yes, I have hurt you, and yes, I will admit that I regret it with everything that I have, but I will not let you eat yourself alive for MY mistake.”
“I am tired, Nikolay. I know that you may not understand what I am feeling, but I am tired inside. I just…”
“I know that you are, malyshka, and it is exactly why I am here. I know that you may find it odd, and I know that I have given you no reason to trust me, but…”
п
“I don’t have anyone to trust in this word, Nikolay, and at this point, it is not only you.” I said, stopping him. He frowned, looking down at his lap ast
JJ BB BBM M
Chapter 37
M
6 16:58
he avoided my eyes. His eyes showed more pain than I ever thought that they would. And taking my hand in his, he gently ran his finger over my knuckle, softly massaging it despite it being bandaged.
“I know that I may not deserve this, and I don’t blame you for wanting to probably shut me off right now, but would you be willing to give me one more chance? You know, to prove to you that I can actually be the man that you want as a husband. Yes, it may be hard for you to believe, and yes, you may not even want to look at me, but…‘
“I told you, Nikolay, I don’t have anyone in this world.” I said, stopping him. “Therefore, if I can give a chance to anyone in this world, it would be you.”
“Katerina, this is not why I want you to think or consider being with me. If anything, I want you to actually be able to trust or at least want to be with. me.” Nikolay said, and I smiled, shaking my head at the man. He couldn’t be seriously saying what he was right now, right? Especially not after everything that happened between the two of us.
“Nikolay, me giving our marriage a chance is a better option for the two of us, and I believe that you of all people should know and understand my reasons.” I said, looking him dead in the eye. “Therefore, you either want me or you don’t, but I do not expect to be played for a fool. Mostly because I am done being treated like one by you or by those who are surrounding you. I am sorry…”
SEND GIFT
