Chapter 54
Katerina:
“What do you want to cat today?” I asked Nikolay smiling at my husband, who wraps his arms around my waist. He pulled me to his chest, leaning his chin on my shoulder. It was something that I grew used to, something that the two of us have actually started forming as a bond between us, me cooking and him being in the kitchen, leaning his chin on my shoulder as he watched that I was going to do. Though I rarely ever knew what I was going to do. Sometimes he would request something, other times it was me guessing, and sometimes, mostly I would create something for him to try. I’m guessing that it was hugely surprised about the creations that I made, especially considering the fact that I learned that his mother did not cook for him.
The two of us have been married and in this House for almost six months. Right now, despite everything that has happened, things have been getting better with me going to regular therapy. That didn’t mean that we didn’t have our problems, it just meant that we were somewhat more secure together. Our relationship was growing more healthy. It was growing into one that started out with a friend. Turn to us being maybe if we can call it lovers. And now we’re acting like a husband and wife. Minus, of course, the intimacy.
“Whatever it is that you’re making, my sweet malyshka, I know they won’t let me down.” I laughed at his choice of words and took my head out. My husband. He kissed my cheeks, not really caring that the mates were watching us. The two of us haven’t gotten intimate yet, but. I knew that wel were getting there at least. Somehow, somewhere, the two of us were getting closer together. Even the maids had noticed that I was growing more happier with them. One of them had commented that my face was lighting up as it used to when I first arrived to the house, though when I first arrived to the house my eyes were actually darker. Clear. I was in more pain, but I was at peace. I was in conflict with myself and my feelings. Me arriving to this house, I was more in pain and in battle with my own feelings, trying to control them as not to fall deeper for Nikolay,
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however, I had failed miserably doing so.
“Mom and Dad are coming over today. You do know that, right?” I nodded in response knowing that they were coming. It was me who invited them to begin with. Thankfully, they haven’t been coming lately, and considering the fact that his mom and I were still in conflict, the woman has chosen to keep her own limit. Plus the fact that it was going to be a public and a big gathering. I knew that I didn’t have to worry. Usually a vision needed to be maintained and problems were left aside when we were alone.
“Don’t worry, Nikolay, things are going to be ok. You know that we are not fighting anymore.” I said, giving him a gentle smile as I looked at him over my shoulder.
Though I knew that it wasn’t the reality of things. I didn’t want him getting more worried than he was. The truth was, we were simply not talking. The woman and I avoided speaking to one another like a plague, and that was something that Nikolay’s father knew. The man had warned his wife against hurting me. Though I wasn’t sure what was in stake if she did. I didn’t dare ask. The woman was obviously hating me more than ever, and that was something that scared me.
“Anastasia is coming too.” Nikolay said, making my heart race. The woman was invited to the gathering like everyone else, and though I didn’t like it. I didn’t say anything about it. I was the man’s wife for almost a year now, therefore, I knew not to be worried about it. However, I couldn’t help the clench that I felt in my chest at the idea of seeing her after so long. Knowing that Nikolay could possibly fear a spark or could miss her was something that I couldn’t get my mind off of.
“Natasha, please can you take care of things here.” I said, putting my knife down. Natasha was the maid who was in charge of helping me in the kitchen. She nodded and walked to my place as I moved from my husband’s arms. I washed my hands and walked out without saying a word. knowing that Nikolay would follow me.
I walked straight to the bedroom, thankful that I was now healthy enough
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to be able to walk up the stairs on my own. Nikolay entered the bedroom behind me and wrapped his hand around my wrist, stopping me from going any further. He pulled me toward his chest, and looking up at him, the man hugged me tightly. He kissed the crown of my head, letting his lips linger there for a few seconds.
“You know that the last thing that I want you to do is hurt your feelings.” Nikolay said, trying to get me to say something about the topic. It was a sensitive one that I didn’t like opening or talking about. And I knew that this was done because of that. Anastasia, for some reason, got back to her ex husband. The husband that she chose to break up with, and hearing that, I saw Nikolay breaking in front of me, and that was something that I couldn’t forget.
Flashback:
“What do you mean by she is getting married?” I heard him asking hist
mum.
They were invited to our house and I was setting up the table. His parents. stayed with him in the living room, and walking back to the room, wanting to call them over, I heard their conversation.
“You heard me. Nikolay. Anastasia is getting back to Nader. Whatever conflicts that happened between them, they have decided to get back to one another. I do hope that this remains as a lesson to you. The woman simply wanted you for your money, and when I did tell you that, you saw. me as the bad person. Now, I do hope that you got my point.” She said, and Nikolay frowned, shaking his head.
“No.” He said, refusing to believe it. My heart ached that night, and I knocked on the door, putting a fake smile on my face, pretending that I didn’t hear his heartbreak. However, Nikolay glared at me for a second before leaving the house and slamming the door shut behind him.
“What happened?” I asked, frowning in confusion.
“He just heard something that he didn’t like. Don’t worry, he would be coming back in a bit.”
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End of Flashback.
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The funniest, and worst parts about this story was that he didn’t come back in a bit. Instead, he came back five days later being a complete. different man. He was raging, angry, and in pain. I realized that night that he might have gotten back to her if things went right or if luck was on his side.
I didn’t say a word to respond, and instead I looked up at him and checked my head. I didn’t know how I felt about this. However, I knew that I didn’t like the painful feeling that I was getting.
“Katerina…”
“Please, Nikolay, please don’t.” I said, stopping him, not wanting him to finish whatever he had to say. The thing is, I knew that things were different between us. I knew that she was in his life long before I was, and that was a mistake and conflict that I’ve been through. It was something that I couldn’t bring myself to live with. Something that I hated over the months, the weakness that I had towards them was something that I knew very well.-
“Katerina, if you want me to tell her not to come…”
“I’m not a rude person, Nikolay. There is no way that I’m going to tell her not to come to my house when she was invited. The issue that happened was her being invited to begin with. But then again, you couldn’t have stopped her. You know, she is one of your partners now.” I said, shaking my head at him. The other thing that broke me was finding out that her husband suddenly decided to go back to his partnerships with Nikolay, wanting to put the past behind them. However, he never did show up to most of the meetings and often had Anastasia going there.
And though Nikolay did not tell me about it at first. I didn’t know what his reasons were with him not telling me. I knew that I was in more pain than I could describe when I found out that she was working with him. But by time, Nikolay proved to me that the two of them were done. Plus, there was the fact that she was pregnant with her husband’s child, and though at
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first I feared the baby being Nikolay’s, it was his mother who had assured me that the baby was Nader’s.
“Alright, but if at any moment you find yourself uncomfortable with her presence, just let me know.” Nikolay said, and I nodded. Whether or not I let him know wouldn’t be making a difference. It wasn’t like I was going to kick out someone, especially not a pregnant woman out of my house. Nor was I going to embarrass myself by allowing her to think that she had an effect on me. If anything, that was the last thing that I wanted her knowing. My husband should have known me better, at least in this term.
“I am going to go and shower before getting ready. Is there anything that you need?” I asked, and he raised an amused eyebrow before wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me to his chest.
“I was thinking of joining you…” he said, making my eyes widen in surprise as my cheeks reddened. “You know, it would be us saving water. Plus…
“Nikolay…”
“Am I not your husband?” He asked, slowly leaning in to my lips. My heart raced as I tried to process what was going on, and slowly tightening his arms around my waist, he connected his lips with mine before pushing me toward the bed. My heart raced against my ribcage as I tried to process what was going on, but Nikolay didn’t seem to care as he stood in front of me, stopping the second my knees buckled as I hit the edge of the bed.
“Nikolay, we have a gathering tonight.” I said, and he smirked. It was a while into noon, and I knew that we still had a lot to tend to. We still have to get the things for our guests arriving and I need to ensure that everything went well. The last thing I needed was to be humiliated or for the guests that were coming to be talking about it. The past that we had was remembered by everybody, and that was something that I wanted to erase. I wanted people to look at us differently, and that was why we were making this invitation. This invitation was going to ensure that everybody saw that we were s happy family, that the two of us have managed to get out of things that we’ve been through, especially considering the fact that most of the people have heard of what happened between me and my
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father.
That was something that Anastasia managed to give out. I was surprised when I heard that people were coming to simply visit me because Anastasia told them that I was injured and that I got into a conflict and fight with my abusive father. That was something that I usually kept secret, especially since I usually did that to ensure that the family’s reputation didn’t get ruined. However, Anastasia being hurt one or two Bureau and she wanted me to be ruined, especially considering the fact that she blamed me for Nikolay not wanting her anymore. Though I doubt it that it was true. Something had happened between the two of them and that was something that she didn’t want me to know. “So? I think we have a planner, the maids, and chefs for a reason.” He whispered to me before. pushing me to lay on bed. My heart raced against my ribcage as he lay on top of me, hovering my body, slowly using his left thigh to push my legs apart as to settle between them. Or to be more specific, it was Nikolay who didn’t want me to know it.
“Let me be your real husband, Katerina.” He said, making my chest ache. Had the sentence been said to me months ago, things would have been completely different. However, now I was completely broken and frightened that he would leave me eventually. The fact that he was doing it right now only made me more worried about the consequences that came later. But I knew that it would benefit me if I did comply to what he wanted. It was something that I wanted as well. Us being a real husband and wife. “I am tried of waiting. I want the two of us to be real.”
“I thought that you didn’t want this.” I said, and he smiled, running his finger over my cheek. It was him who had rejected me months ago when I actually told him that I wanted this. The memory of that night, it was stuck in my head and no matter how much I tried to ignore it or to conceal the feelings that I felt towards that night. I couldn’t do so. It was an issue where I felt like I was so small, not knowing what to do or say towards it. The pain that I felt, the anger, the anguish, the humiliation. Everything just piled up in my head. And I found myself shying back, fearing that he would reach to the point where he saw me bare before he rejected me. And that was something that I didn’t want to go through
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again.
“I do.” He said, leaning in to my lips His words sent tingles down my spine as butterflies formed in my stomach. My cheeks reddened and my body. heated. However, I didn’t know how to respond. I looked him in the eye, trying to see any doubt. Or any rejection, lies. However, I couldn’t see any. I stayed quiet for a few seconds, trying to think clearly. I tried to form a sentence but it was like my tongue was tied. I couldn’t say a word. “All I need is a confirmation from you, malyshka…”
